Monday, December 14, 2009

Truth U knows Its

4 December 2009 / 17:03:23
It's A Lovely Cake apologizes for the misleading advice on outdoor survival. In fact, whilst defending yourself against a BLACK bear, punch the brute square in the snout for your best chance of survival.
We made some cookies today, in doing so we also found out that a bit of left over cookie dough looks remarkably like a baby new potato. The resemblance is uncanny.

We like the bit with the lizards in the new bad lieutenant movie.

In other news, a suspicious portal has opened up above Norway.

This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius.
We have come to reclaim the pyramids.
This weeks promotional code is 'Ham Sandwich'. Leave us this code for a free gift with your order,

Unless you'd prefer the vegetarian option, in which case insert your preferred filling, we recommend the falafel.

As far as jewellery goes, we've been considerably lazy. A mix of Christmas and birthday excitement has somewhat distracted us.
"Cat On Tit"
The way in which to describe someone performing a horrific act
Some thing generally horrific and obscene.
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17 November 2009 / 23:50:05

Whilst defending yourself against a grizzly bear, punch the brute square in the snout for your best chance of survival. We bought a new grinder today. Ah....the little things in life.

Please be patient as i'm still in the middle of fixin' up the jewellery section of the shop. It's all clickable just looks boring!
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13 November 2009 / 02:26:48
Everyone sucks. There's no one to paly nazi zombies with anymore :( everyone's slutting up modern warfae! Not been a very productive week for the cakelets i'm afraid! Greatly anticipating the arrival of our new supplies so we can get cracking on our new winter collection. Talking of meat.....

They're made out of Meat

by Terry Bisson

"They're made out of meat."
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars."
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."
"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"
"So... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"So what does the meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to meat?"
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."
"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the universe would be if one were all alone."

Editor's note: This story is © Copyright by Terry Bisson and is reproduced here by kind permission of the author. If you like the story, please visit Terry Bisson's Website and check out his books.
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10 November 2009 / 14:22:54
woohooo modern warfare 2 is finally out. i know a few people who went to the supermarket at midnight so they could be the first one to play it....aww they make me proud. but surly this means that the new zombie map is out for cod 5? ill have to check the playstation store. i hope it wasnt a shitty rumor. well im tucked up in bed feeling rediculously ill. playstationless at the moment.
oh, by the way, British polotics is wank so please sign this petition and hopefully we can make the world a more tolerant place :)
if u enjoy smoking weed that is......
please check it out
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07 November 2009 / 02:50:50
YAY fireworks are the coolest.
OMFG the greatest news! The Oddworld games are getting released on the playstation store!!! I can't think of anything better that spending winter curled up by the fire, with a cup of hot chocolate, destroying some slig ass merely using the power of my mind.
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Hats off to Var3z for being an absolute fucking beast.

03 November 2009 / 01:39:14

Yay it's nearly fireworks night how exciting! Hope you all had a great halloween ^_^

Found a very cool story today check it out you guys.....

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28 October 2009 / 22:10:21

Today we were blatantly wearing the best hats in the universe.

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24 October 2009 / 02:29:20
Well well well it has been a while since we last posted.
A few more things listed in the etsy shop this week.

Finally the .com is up and running, it's all very exciting!

So here we are blatently chillin with some high grade. Sarah FINALLY has a job and will soon have a car so fun times. woo. A trip to the zoo is in order i belive.

We've had a nice new batch of goodies to play with over the past week, so we'll have some fantastic new stuff for you to look at soon, keep your eyes peeled for cute vintage cameos :).

We also had the great news this week that we have a spot in next years Caridff mardi gras! Thanks to the brilliant Quim. So we've had our thinking caps on about displays, giveaways etc. It's gunna be alot of fun!

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07 October 2009 / 13:21:59

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

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05 October 2009 / 16:59:58

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04 October 2009 / 23:14:43

sometimes i really really hate the playstation network.

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A Never-before-seen Portion of Mercury

01 October 2009 / 20:29:49

"The Turtles - Buzzsaw"
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01 October 2009 / 00:56:06

Tis the dawning of a new era.
The mothership has landed. has finally arrived

we have returned to reclaim the pyramids

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